Showing posts with label mommy martyr. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mommy martyr. Show all posts

Friday, December 4, 2009

Aggression: Do you even know what that means?



In light of the self righteous mother dumping her dog on the mythical farm where all unwanted indoor pets go to live because it scratched her baby, a sure sign of aggression I am told by many other moms, I bring you this:


Dog Aggression

The Humane Society of the United States

A dog's bark may be worse than his bite, but most of us would rather not find out one way or the other.

Growling, baring teeth, snarling, snapping, and biting are all aggressive behaviors. Although these messages are among the handful of communication tools available to dogs, they're generally unacceptable to humans.

Because aggression is so complex, and because the potential consequences are so serious, we recommend that you get professional in-home help from an animal behavior specialist if your dog is displaying aggressive behavior.

Types of aggression
Dominance aggression is motivated by a challenge to a dog's social status or to his control of a social interaction. Dogs are social animals and view their human families as their social group or "pack." Based on the outcomes of social challenges among group members, a dominance hierarchy or "pecking order" is established.

If your dog perceives his own ranking in the hierarchy to be higher than yours, he'll probably challenge you in certain situations. Because people don't always understand canine communication, you may inadvertently challenge your dog's social position. A dominantly aggressive dog may growl if he is disturbed when resting or sleeping or if he is asked to give up a favorite spot, such as the couch or the bed.

Physical restraint, even when done in a friendly manner (like hugging), may also cause your dog to respond aggressively. Reaching for your dog's collar, or reaching over his head to pet him, could also be interpreted as a challenge for dominance. Dominantly aggressive dogs are often described as "Jekyll and Hydes" because they can be very friendly when not challenged. Dominance aggression may be directed at people or at other animals. The most common reason for fights among dogs in the same family is instability in the dominance hierarchy.

Fear-motivated aggression is a defensive reaction and occurs when a dog believes he is in danger of being harmed. Remember that it's your dog's perception of the situation, not your actual intent, which determines your dog's response. For example, you may raise your arm to throw a ball, but your dog may bite you because he believes he's protecting himself from being hit. A dog may also be fearfully aggressive when approached by other dogs.

Protective, territorial, and possessive aggression are all very similar, and involve the defense of valuable resources. Territorial aggression is usually associated with defense of property, and that "territory" may extend well past the boundaries of your yard. For example, if you regularly walk your dog around the neighborhood and allow him to urine-mark, he may think his territory includes the entire block. Protective aggression usually refers to aggression directed toward people or animals whom a dog perceives as threats to his family, or pack. Dogs become possessively aggressive when defending their food, toys, or other valued objects, including items as peculiar as tissues stolen from the trash.

Redirected aggression is a relatively common type of aggression but one that is often misunderstood by pet owners. If a dog is somehow provoked by a person or animal he is unable to attack, he may redirect this aggression onto someone else. For example, two family dogs may become excited, and bark and growl in response to another dog passing through the front yard; or two dogs confined behind a fence may turn and attack each other because they can't attack an intruder. Predation is usually considered to be a unique kind of aggressive behavior because it's motivated by the intent to obtain food, and not primarily by the intent to harm or intimidate.

Individual variation
The likelihood of a dog to show aggressive behavior in any particular situation varies markedly from dog to dog. Some dogs tend to respond aggressively with very little stimulation. Others may be subjected to all kinds of threatening stimuli and events and yet never attempt to bite.

The difference in the threshold prompting aggressive behavior is influenced by both environmental and genetic factors. If this threshold is low, a dog will be more likely to bite. Raising the threshold makes a dog less likely to respond aggressively. This threshold can be raised using behavior modification techniques, but the potential for change is influenced by a dog's gender, age, breed, general temperament, and the way in which the behavior modification techniques are chosen and implemented.

Because working with aggressive dogs can be potentially dangerous, behavior modification techniques should only be attempted by, or under the guidance of, an experienced animal behavior professional who understands animal learning theory and behavior.

What you can do

First, check with your veterinarian to rule out medical causes for the aggressive behavior.
Seek professional advice. An aggression problem will not go away by itself. Working with aggression problems requires in-home help from an animal behavior specialist.
Take precautions. Your first priority is to keep people and other animals safe. Supervise, confine, and/or restrict your dog's activities until you can obtain professional guidance. You are liable for your dog's behavior. If you must take your dog out in public, consider a cage-type muzzle as a temporary precaution, and remember that some dogs are clever enough to get a muzzle off.
Avoid exposing your dog to situations where he is more likely to show aggression. You may need to keep him confined to a safe room and limit his contact with people.
If your dog is possessive of toys or treats, or territorial in certain locations, prevent access and you'll prevent the problem. In an emergency, bribe him with something better than what he has. For example, if he steals your shoe, trade him the shoe for a piece of chicken.
Spay or neuter your dog. Intact dogs are more likely to display dominance, territorial, and protective aggressive behavior.
What not to do
Punishment won't help and, in fact, will often make the problem worse. If the aggression is motivated by fear, punishment will make your dog more fearful, and therefore more aggressive. Attempting to punish or dominate a dominantly aggressive dog may actually lead him to escalate his behavior to retain his dominant position. This is likely to result in a bite or a severe attack. Punishing territorial, possessive, or protective aggression is likely to elicit additional defensive aggression.

Adapted from material originally developed by applied animal behaviorists at the Dumb Friends League, Denver, Colorado. All rights reserved.

http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/dogs/tips/aggression.html

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Lather.Rinse.Repeat...


Under supervising is not cause for overreacting but rather reflection. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

• If you leave your baby unattended around a pool and they fall in, it’s not the pool’s fault your baby drowned.
• If you don’t baby proof your electrical outlets and your baby sticks your keys in the socket, it’s not electricity’s fault your baby got zapped.
• If you leave a sharpie marker in reach and your toddler colors on your new dining room set, it’s not the marker’s fault your furniture is ruined.

Yes, I am a broken record on this subject because someone needs to be. In this era of helicopter parenting I find it puzzling that somehow supervising a child around a dog suddenly becomes too much work, requires too much effort, and is somehow impossible. Those who demand the dog’s head on a platter after a snap become the vast majority and I become the minority, aka the crazy dog person. I had no idea supervising my child and shaping his behaviors around animals made me certifiable. Quick, someone better call CPS on me.

So let me scream this at the top of my lungs a little louder. It is YOUR job to make sure baby and beasts are all on their best behavior. It is YOUR job to monitor their interactions and determine when someone has had enough. It is YOUR job to raise your child to respect an animal’s boundaries. It is YOUR job to become acutely aware what those boundaries are. It is YOUR job to baby proof your pets long before it becomes an issue.

I know my parents didn’t do much to prepare our dogs for kids. They got lucky. I yanked on Winston’s hair to pull myself up and learn how to walk. I used to try and ride my Doberman Satan for fun. You know what, they got really lucky and in hindsight they know it. It is not a reasonable expectation that a family pet will not at some point have been dished out more than it can take. You have so many tools at your disposal, you just need to implement them.

Take some time to learn how dogs communicate:
http://www.greenacreskennel.com/pages/Articles/ART_How_Do_Dogs_Communicate.html
http://www.amazon.com/Canine-Body-Language-Photographic-Interpreting/dp/1929242352

Prepare your dogs before the baby comes home from the hospital:
http://www.dogsandstorks.com/
http://www.amazon.com/Childproofing-Your-Dog-Complete-Preparing/dp/0446670162

Raise your child from day 1 to follow these rules of respect. The rules will not only keep your child safe around YOUR pets, but also animals that are unfamiliar.
1. Do not ever touch an animal while it is eating.
2. Do not ever touch an animal while it is sleeping; further do no allow them on the dog’s bed and or in the dog’s crate at any time. These are baby free zones.
3. Do not ever hit/pinch/pull/kick/or hug an animal.

Invest in tools to help manage babies and beasts for those moments you can’t be in all places at once. Minimize the opportunity for an accident to occur. Be observant and be vigilant.
http://www.kongcompany.com/
http://www.dog.com/dog-crates/exercise-pens/7/
http://www.dog.com/dog-crates/plastic-crates/1293/
http://www.dog.com/item/bully-sticks-by-the-case/130662/
http://www.babyhomesafety.com/pressure_gates.htm

I don't want to be on a soap box. I don't want this to be twisted into some contest of who is a better parent. I want this to be a wake up call for everyone. I want this post to help save a dog's life. I want this post to protect your child from getting bitten. Please read it and then stew on it with that frame of mind.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Mommy martyrs


Definition: a mommy who thinks being a mother is so hard that taking care of their pets is a source of insurmountable suffering thus they look for ways to justify their need to dispose of, get rid of, or re home their pet.

You know one I bet, I come across them all the time. Somehow these women think shooting a baby out their coochie is life's most important accomplishment. They think they practically invented motherhood and no one can possibly relate to their struggles. Well people I am not in that camp. I'm in the total opposite camp, the one that thinks my most important life accomplishment will be maintaining my own identity outside of being a mother; one that continues to honor herself daily by continuing to be all of the things that make me who I am. Because if I cannot do that, then what the hell do I have to offer my kid outside of the basic necessities? I ask why did you bother becoming a mother if you find honoring and upholding something so basic as providding food, water, medical care, and love to a dog or cat as being impossible?

Mommy martyrs you are screwed, I am onto you and I'm not the only one...