Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Babies and Beasts oh my

Don't think my lack of blogging as of late means my home life has been blissful. It's been anything but.

Let's see, Mr. Mack decided to eat something inedible yet again unbeknown to us. You'd think we'd be winning the war, but alas, he decided to eat some bed stuffing in a super secret way that left us clueless until it was too late, i.e. the puking had began. How can a bull in a china chop tear his bed so there is a little flap he can put back into place making the bed look 100% boggles my mind. That basically sums up my month of March. This obstruction was nothing like the one he had 6 months ago, so we racked up over $4k in bills shuttling him to and from the e vet to his regular vet before going in for exploratory surgery. Thankfully this time he was covered by pet insurance which helped us recoup about 80% of that back. I however, will not get back those sleepless nights, nor will I lose the wrinkles he gave me this go around.

Becks we have discovered has some special needs. Gosh that sounds so depressing when in reality it's not really a big thing. Ironically, I enrolled back in school to finish a degree so that I can become a special needs teacher, all prior to B's diagnosis. Becks has SPD which is Sensory Processing Disorder. Essentially he is a sensory seeker which explains why as an infant he *never* wanted to be still and or sleep. I accepted I had a high needs baby, but to be able to look back now I see how his lack of a properly functioning regulatory system probably was a factor. The best word to describe Becks is MORE. Yes, the all caps is necessary. B likes to run harder, climb higher, laugh louder, go to whatever extreme he can to fill up his sensory cup. Where for a time I thought I just had a toddler who was bolder than most it turns out he is going to need some help filling his sensory cup in other ways so that we (and his teachers) can avoid the dark side of SPD sensory seekers- the anger overload tantrum that comes when the cup isn't filled. Hour plus long tantrums filled with rage, violence, room thrashing, call CPS someone is killing a child in that house, a rage that no one can diffuse or soothe away, not even mom. We have sought professional help and will soon be on a journey filled with occupational therapy, private schools, psychologists etc... No one said motherhood was easy.

Well you know how some say God only gives you as much as you can handle? I might not be big on the whole concept of God, but I do know if anyone was going to be tossed some major hurdles to jump it might as well be me. What can I say? I've always been a fan of the underdog, I get more out of giving than I ever do receiving, I'm a champion of the abused, misunderstood, and neglected. So this is my new path which comes with it's own unique challenges. At the very least I feel validated that my struggles with Becks are not imaginary or not the result of me being an under qualified mom. Love the built in mom guilt!

Enjoy some pics of my loves.


  1. Wow, you're one tough mom! I haven't been on the boards a whole lot so I really know all this. Glad you got Max figured out and hopefully he'll stop being a goat dog!

    So relieved you were able to figure out Becks. Sounds like you are on the right track to being able to handle it all. I know it'll never be easy, but you're right, God doesn't give us more than we can handle. I'm a firm believer in that! Keep fighting!

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